[Valid Atom 1.0] BarbaraEllen: Life. But the Fighter Still Remains.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Life. But the Fighter Still Remains.

Add post-post on 6/23/12. I finally made it!!!
So. Happy.
.I love to kickbox.
But I haven't been a good lover, fighter, exerciser... 

Twice in One year. (Brighton Location.)
Let's make this 2nd 1/2 of the year 8 more. Min.
This year, to say the least, this year has been craycray.  I've been sick. I've been beat-up (take that figuratively or literally, your call). I've been working hard. I've 

been hardly working. I've been searching. I've been lost. I've been fear. I've been faith. In all, these 6 insane months of the year that's supposed to end the world or bring the Lord to our world or whatever it's supposed to do, I've been a fighter.

But how have I done it without kickboxing? 

Kickboxing is:
1. Fun
2. Challenging
3. The best workout of my liffffffe

Kickboxing at UMAC is:
1. The real deal
2. Friendly atmosphere
3. Supportive

Kickboxing with Pam at UMAC is:
1. Life changing
2. Beyond a workout
3. Nurturing, Satisfying, Fulfilling, Engaging, EMPOWERING.


And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that laid him down,
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame,
"I am leaving, I am leaving!"
But the fighter still remains...

For, at least, one solid month now, I've made a commitment to go to my fav class, Saturday morning at 9. Every Thursday & Friday, I feel it well within my bones. Sinew of muscle crying out. Legs twitching. Arms aching. The bag wants me. I want it more. It's comfort & it's familiar & it's a challenge & it's home And I still can't seem to make it.

Kickboxing & UMAC & Pam changed me & my body & have been doing so since--well, really, since 2007 before I left for NYC when I took this AMAZING, LIFE SAVING self-defense class with John, co-owner of UMAC, but that's an entirely different post, so we'll go with since...--2009. I attended my first class, Saturday morning, at the encouragement of my then-Cooperating Teacher for student-teaching & my now friend & mentor. Amy, who is the most kick-bottom woman (2 young children & all!) in & outside of the gym, taught the class as a sub instructor and, from the first front-round-same-side-(land to side of the bag) back-round-(land near the back)-left-hook-combo, I've not been the same.

I owe so much to my kickboxing community, & I owe it to my body. (BEST. WORKOUT. EVERRRRRRR.) I'm ready to wind on the wraps. Thirsty to shakedown the bag. Salivating to shred apart, to rebuild, my muscles. I'm ready to go back to my UMAC family. 

And I think I haven't because, after this year, I'm scared that all the fight has left me. So I tell myself: it's not about the fight, it's about overcoming the fear

It's about the finish.

(do not That's what she said me ...
unless you're at UMAC ...
holding the plank,
on your side,
one leg up,
maybe trying a push-up.)



  1. We miss you BarbaraEllen! Come back anytime and kick that bag with us! xoxoxo

  2. Tues Night. Sat Morn. That's my plan & I'm (IhopeIhopeIhopeIhope!) sticking to it. <3 .


Not your typical BarbaraEllen ... but still be constructive. Creative also welcome! xo.