5th grade. Iroquois Middle School. West Irondequoit. Gym class. Ending. Chucked a football 'cross court & hit this guy (I removed his real name b/c what if it is illegal...)--smack!--right in the side of the dome. Boom. Helga Pataki Syndrome. Please read on:
|Hegla, Arnold, Gerald. |
(All images taken from Google Images.)
2, 5046 minutes before you
In the preliminary episode, "24 Hours to Live," we meet Arnold as tries to avoid a tussle with school-yard bully, Harold. (Think bully bulldog reincarnate.) While Arnold pulls a bold & elaborate move by feigning insanity to get out of the backyard beating, I tuned-into Helga Pataki.
Lanky, cranky, awkward & rude. Throughout the episode, Helga's voice rings clear as she continuously counts-down Arnold's impending beat-down. But here's the twist. Helga doesn't hate Arnold. Doesn't want him to die. Doesn't even want him to suffer. Helga loves Arnold. Loves. If you know anything 'bout vintage Nickelodeon, it's that Helga ♥'s Arnold. Thing is, blatant force of attraction flowing through her triggers a fight-or-flight response. You know how some ppl ignore the ones they love? Helga fights'em. Will do anything to shh Cupid's blow.
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I know you can relate.
Come on. Who among us hasn't taunted an object-of-affection to mask what we fear & perceive to be our ever-blossoming obsession & blushing cheeks? I'm not the only one... Although, in my mature age, I've tried, since, to abstain from basketballs.